


Minus

by thienaultha



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: 7thnight_smut, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 02:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5113271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thienaultha/pseuds/thienaultha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone fights for something. In a world where fighting tournaments help people get by, Goku takes it upon himself to help a friend in need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ringletts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ringletts/gifts).



> Written for the 2015 7th Night Smut fic exchange.
> 
> This story wanted to keep going, but I ran out of time, ha ha. It is complete, though I am considering continuing it.
> 
> Enjoy!

The fighter staggered back, wiping moisture away, trying not to fall to one knee. Goku didn't waste any time, charging forward arm swinging. The crowd around them was a blur and he could smell blood and sweat. He landed another hit, finally--this guy was tough. This wasn't the first time they competed against each other and this man wasn't to be taken lightly, but Goku intended to live up to the name he'd created for himself in the ring. 

The announcer roared over the speakers when Goku's opponent went down. The sound pierced Goku's ears, but he didn't look around, didn't revel in it, eyes strained and focused on the crumpling form in front of him. His muscles screamed and his lungs burned with quick, heavy breaths. Hyper aware, he felt the blood and sweat trickle down his nose. His hands were hot in his gloves. He fought for control of himself, realizing his temper had flared.

Someone came and picked Goku's opponent off the floor of the ring, and Goku regained enough of his composure to leave the caged arena, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Someone--he couldn't catch their face, everyone was blurring together--handed him a bottle of water. He found his way to the locker room where he took a long gulp and poured the rest over his head, gasping at the cold running down his scalp, bringing him down from the heated high, and snapping the world back into reality.

He accepted his prize money, and after entertaining a few enthusiasts he called a taxi to take him home to his small apartment. He counted out his winnings and split it; one part into his miniscule budget, the other into a half gallon mason jar he would conceal in a bottom kitchen cupboard.

He hoped the fighter he faced that day was all right. He was good, and they were all fighting for something. Goku glanced down at his phone still void of any notifications, before sprawling out over his messy bed to sleep, too tired to eat.

 

*** 

 

Hakkai headed back home from the tournament. He didn't live far, just a few blocks further from town, in a quaint little house with only a sliver of front and backyard. It was late, and Hakkai hoped Gojyo remembered to heat up the meal Hakkai had prepared before he left. It was uncharacteristic of him to be out this late, but he made it a point to see what the next few tournaments had in store for him. Son Goku was an opponent to watch out for. He was small and quick and certainly powerful behind the compact frame, and Hakkai was surprised and maybe a little impressed, to see him take down a fighter so easily.

He could finally see his house (or rather, Gojyo's house) coming up, its silhouette lit dimly by a fluorescent street light that flickered too much after midnight. It was an old house, a worn house, and since Gojyo didn't have enough mind to fully take care of it, Hakkai had made it his own. The unkempt interior fell to his cleaning abilities, and instead of long and sprawling weeds growing among the panels of the raised dwelling, a small garden bloomed instead. The front, bordered by red bricks, contained annuals, and the back and side, small fruits and vegetables. A box of herbs was latched to the kitchen window. 

Careful not to trip on unlevel cracks in the sidewalk, he approached the wooden steps up to the door, feeling for the wad of cash in his inside coat pocket, reassuring its existence. Between this and Gojyo's gambling habit, they'd managed the past year. Hakkai had a day job, but he could only tutor when there was a demand, and no one had signed up for the fall just yet.

Gojyo lay sprawled on the couch very much asleep, red hair tousled from a messy ponytail. He was going to have a numb arm in the morning, Hakkai could tell, so he lifted the other man's limb into a less strenuous position before heading to the open kitchen. Nibbling on leftovers, Hakkai organized his wallet and budgeted accordingly, checking off the electric bill as 'paid' with satisfaction, before adding the rest of the balance to his savings for another doctor's appointment. He'd been feeling more unwell than well as of late, his muscles and head already aching from just the simple walk home. He would need a lot more rest before his next fight, and so he made for bed.

 

***

 

The stadium sat in the spotty divide between small, crowded homes and sprawling skyscrapers. The city itself was large and quite promising for anyone who had the money to sit up in the higher levels. Science and academia flourished. Colors were splashed across the face of the city, banners and flags and neon advertisements, graffiti on the alley walls under a living mass of concrete, metal, and glass. 

It was spacious inside with hundreds of red plastic seats situated in tiered rows.

That night they were full of spectators for the Friday show.

Hakkai sat at the lowest level to the cage, as did most competitors, and watched Goku in the arena a second and third time, surprised to see him so soon and fight so consecutively. They were quick three minute fights and the sign ups were causal first come first fight, but the pay was much less. Still, a few rounds in the casual tournaments could have a good fighter racking up cash. They were good for beginners and small budget fixes, without having to spend an extra two grueling minutes in locked combat like the main tournaments.

The fighters were often randomized, but they were often matched in strength, unless they were under the influence of Minus. The drug was illegal, but it was hard to spot in someone so it often flew under the radar. Unless they overdosed or took enough that they changed during the fight. It would be obvious then. The transition from a Minus user to a Changed had a tendency to be violent and visibly painful. Sometimes people died. And it wasn't always the opposing fighter.

Soon, it was Hakkai's time to fight. Goku had plopped into a seat the next aisle over, massaging his sinewy leg muscles.

Hakkai could smell everything: the paint, the dirty, cold concrete, sweat, blood. It was easy to become unhinged, the newfound strength pumping through your blood, closing out everything but your target. That's what Minus did. It either changed you or killed you. In the end, Hakkai supposed he was lucky enough to have experienced the former, even if at one point he had wished otherwise. 

The fighting scene wasn't an underground club; it was in fact decent entertainment for those more fortunate than to be there, though he didn't doubt some truly enjoyed this sort of thing. He wasn't built for heavy fighting, relying a lot on his footwork, and of late he didn't feel as up to par like he did before.

He took a quick look around the ring, getting his bearings before the fight. Faces, familiar and unfamiliar surrounded the cage. A group to his left chanted through the fencing, rowdy, sloshing beer in one hand, betting tickets in the other. He had to look twice when he turned around; Hazel stood near the ring's door, a statue compared to the movement of the people around him. A tingle ran up Hakkai's spine and he wondered why Hazel was there. He'd quit fighting just only a year or so earlier, and Hakka was left wondering if he planned on returning. Their respect was mutual, but they found each other hard to be around, having a tendency to rub the wrong way. Hazel was too much like himself. 

The bell rang and he steeled himself for his first fight of the night. He smiled mildly at his opponent - -an unknown newcomer -- and when the announcer called out Hakkai's name, the young man blinked in recognition, and then sneered in false bravado. Hakkai's smile widened, brushing aside the concern that perhaps he, himself, was one of those who sometimes enjoyed the fight.

 

***

 

"You're really good!" Goku ran a hand towel through his hair, catching the sweat dripping off the tousled strands. "Totally whooped that guy's ass."

They were in the locker room, cooling down from the excitement of the night.

"Well, I suppose I had the advantage. I don't think he's been doing this as long." Hakkai had no idea Goku had been watching.

"You're pretty modest. So far you fit the bill with what everyone's said about you."

Hakkai was a well-known participant, his exceptional skill the topic of the fighters in the ring and the journalists that wrote for the tourney beat. Goku was quickly garnering the same attention. "You'll be to that level of recognition yourself, if you keep this up."

"Yeah, I guess," Goku said, noncommittal. "But it's not what I'm here for, so I'm not too worried about it." He grinned before taking a big gulp of soda.

Hakkai chuckled. "Most of us aren't here for fame. It's more of a bonus, if you want to look at it that way."

Goku made another grunt of approval, stuffing his things in a drawstring bag. The locker room was empty, and the clang of Goku's locker door closing echoed down the bland tiled hallway, where promotional flyers and makeshift ads and posters hung. Hakkai could smell the cleaning products.

"What are you fighting for?" Goku asked. He looked up at Hakkai after tying a yellow print bandana around his forehead. His hair stuck out in unflattering spikes.

Hakkai stood very still, looking back at Goku's big brown eyes. They made him seem younger than he really was. He found himself pondering the harsh light on the line of Goku's jaw contrasting with the shadow around his neck. 

"Living, I suppose." The money did help with all of his and Gojyo's expenses. The state of his health loomed over him.

"Mm." Goku looked back down at his worn sneakers. He was silent for a little while, looking despondent. "I'm hungry."

"Pardon?"

"Wanna grab a bite to eat?"

Goku's grin returned and Hakkai stood, surprised. The subject change was jarring, but after a few seconds to collect himself, he had to smile too. Eating was a part of being alive, after all. "That might actually be a good idea."

Goku led Hakkai to a hole in the wall noodle shop, the smell of the broths and spices hitting his nose like a wall as they entered. After they ordered and huddled into a corner of the small restaurant, Hakkai continued to ponder why he had accepted the invitation. At any time he could be facing off against Goku in a tournament. Making friends was pointless, he reasoned. Fights were brutal. No one wanted to fight friends. They'd fight strangers or renowned persons, but never anyone familiar.

Goku rambled about his favorite foods, which were quite a lot of things. Hakkai thought he'd be better off listing the things he didn't like, but he listened politely, amused by Goku's brightness, a small sun, despite any circumstances. It was Hakkai's turn to tell his favorites, as per Goku's wish, and he obliged.

Their bowls came quickly and Goku was especially grateful, slurping it up immediately after exaggerated gestures of thanks. Hakkai let him get a little further in his noodles, while slowly picking at his, before posing the question Goku had asked him earlier. Faced with Goku's cheeriness, it was a huge contrast to the tenacity and ferocity he displayed in tournaments.

"I guess it's only fair since I asked you first, huh?" He stared into his noodles, chopsticks resting in his hands for a moment. "It's for a friend. I pocket any extra winnings for him." He started eating again.

"I see." Hakkai said carefully. "That's very generous of you."

Money was a huge problem in several classes. Such a huge gap had grown within the last decade, and so far no recovery lay in sight, the upper classes taking advantage of what they could.

"I want him to get out of a situation; I'd do anything to help him."

"You're being very honest. It's possible that I might be an opponent in the future."

"Now you know I won't lose." Goku smiled at him again. 

Hakkai smiled back. 

 

***

 

"I trust your research will yield results soon." The man's voice was gruff and grating.

Ukoku replied, his lilting tone a jarring contrast. "Of course, of course. I know you're on a tight schedule. We're working as quickly as possible, I assure you, Mr. Li."

Hazel stood back near the door, waiting his turn. Mr. Li was well-dressed and looked well off. 

Ukoku gestured to Hazel. "As you can see, my volunteer is here to discuss some details with me." His glasses glinted in the light when he dipped his head in Hazel's direction. Strands of his dark hair fell across his face.

Li scowled beneath his facial hair.

Ukoku stood then and escorted Li to the door. "I'll see you some other time, Mr. Li. You'll be the first to know any progress."

The door closed and Ukoku greeted Hazel. "I'm glad you got my call." He motioned for Hazel to come with him back to his desk.

Ukoku dressed less formal despite his grand position as doctor and scientist. He was always wearing dark slacks and some sort of button-down shirt. His tie never looked proper, sitting loose around his neck. Hazel didn't understand him.

Through the glass panels behind his work space shone the thousand lights from the city thirteen stories down, a metropolis of yellow, red, and flashing neon. The sky was black; a news channel reporting the coming rain from a muted flatscreen tv hoisted in a corner of the office.

"How is my research team faring?" Ukoku asked.

"It's fine."

Ukoku pouted. "Since you're down there with them so much, I thought you'd be able to tell me more."

"The number of people willin' to talk or volunteer is about average," Hazel elaborated, his tone neutral. "You should be receivin' some more samples of Minus later this evenin'."

Ukoku stroked his chin and leaned back against his desk. "That's good."

"What else did ya need to talk to me about, Mr. Ukoku?" Hazel was ready for the conversation to end.

"As I'm sure you saw, I have a client that's getting a little impatient." Ukoku held up his hands. "Now, I know you've been doing a fabulous job, and I thank you for the vast amount of insight you've given. Having access to the Changed up close and the effects Minus has on the body is vital to our research. No one else has bothered with the Changed until now--oh, but don't worry, _I_ find you valuable--"

"What is it, Mr. Ukoku?" Hazel did his best to keep a straight face, resisted wincing.

Ukoku pressed his hands together, a begging gesture. "Can you do a check-up for me?"

Annoyance melted into surprise. "Already?"

"A couple weeks is enough time for something to change. You know what can happen if your health isn't monitored properly," he chided.

The room felt stuffy despite the skyline view. Heat had flared down Hazel's back and he tried not to think about needles digging in his skin because it always made his arm itch. He fought the horrible urge to squeeze his elbow. Ukoku would laugh.

"Can you do that for me? It would be wonderfully helpful, another thing to add to the list of great things you've done for me."

"Fine," Hazel relinquished, stuffing his hands in his topcoat's deep pockets.

"You're an _angel_."

The incense smoking at the corner of Ukoku's desk burned Hazel's nostrils. He said nothing in return, watching Ukoku smile and adjust his glasses from where they had slipped down his nose. 

"All right, all right," Ukoku sighed. "You're free to go. Have fun."

The man's brand of sweetness was awful. Hazel hurried out, the large mahogany door latching behind him, a crisp click. 

He stood there in front of the doors staring down hard at his feet, the leather of his gloves creaking as he squeezed his hands.

Having enough of his own thoughts, he turned to his companion, Gat, who had waited for him in the anteroom. The taller man fell from his position of leaning against the patterned walls. 

"How was it?" Gat asked.

"Fine, just idle chitchat," Hazel replied before turning back and heading toward the elevator down the hallway. Gat followed, their footsteps echoing off the waxed green marbled floor. He didn't say anything, and they continued in silence. It wasn't until the elevator doors had closed that Hazel spoke again. His voice was hushed.

"He says they're makin' progress on the suppressant, but he wants me to do more tests."

Gat said nothing again, and Hazel felt his gentle gaze on the back of his neck. 

Hazel found the doctor distasteful, yet put up with his peculiar behavior because Ukoku did help him, pulled him out of a rough place with an offer, and Hazel wanted what he promised: that cure that would save him and everyone else like him from dying a painful, early death. Despite everything, Hazel still wanted to live, at least a little.

"Are you all right?"

Hazel didn't look at him. "With what? I don't like the thought of doctors stickin' more needles in me."

He thought about laughing. He'd thought that he wouldn't be bothered with all the poking and prodding since he'd put plenty of needles in his own arm.

"That's not what I meant."

Gat was too perceptive, knew Hazel too well. 

"I'm as fine as I can get, all things considered." He brushed a silver stray hair from his heavy black coat.

They walked in silence again from the elevator and across the lobby, stopping outside under the awning of the building in the chilly autumn night air. The rain was moving in now, hitting the metal above them in rushing waves.

"Do you think we can go back?" Hazel asked.

"To before the Minus days?"

Another pause between them. 

"We're not the same people anymore." Gat said.

"I know."

"…So I guess not."

Hazel stared into the sparsely lit parking lot. Gat looked at Hazel.

"It'll be okay." Even Gat's voice sounded small then, against the street sounds and coming rain.

Keys jingled and Gat stepped out into the drizzle to bring the car around. Hazel watched Gat's back as he jogged to the car.

Yes, he really did want to live a little longer.

 

***

 

"Looks like good pickin's from the rounds today," Gojyo commented from his prone position on the couch.

"Yes," Hakkai replied as he counted the bills in his hands. He placed the extra earnings in an envelope that he'd run to the bank later in the week. "How was your luck this evening?" 

Gojyo sucked in a breath on his cigarette, and blew out smoke across the room. "I did pretty good. I've really been on a roll. Maybe we can get a streaming service or something."

"You barely watched tv when we had it."

"I can't take the old shitty westerns anymore, Hakkai."

"If you can foot it, you can have it."

Gojyo's occupation was a gambler when he wasn't running odd jobs. He was very good at his work, knew when to quit and learned to make it profitable.

Gojyo popped open a can of beer, fresh from a cooler. "What other news is happening lately?"

"I saw Hazel today."

Gojyo finished a long gulp of his drink. "Tell me good news."

The water for that night's dinner boiled loudly over the stove, and Hakkai moved to prepare the meal. He contemplated what to say. "I had a nice outing," he began.

"That explains why you got home late," Gojyo jeered. "I tried to stay up, but-- man, I was beat."

Hakkai smiled one of his neutral smiles, even though Gojyo couldn't see his face. "He was at the ring, and invited me out to eat. It was nice."

"Do you like him?"

"He's quite likeable. I would consider another outing, if that happens."

"Cool," Gojyo replied, and Hakkai waited, half expecting Gojyo to ask more questions, but none came. Hakkai never picked anyone up or went on a date. It wasn't something that came naturally to him, unlike Gojyo, the handsome ladies' man. 

"How are you feeling?" Gojyo asked. 

Hakkai had been honest to him about his health, but didn't tell Gojyo about it being most certainly related to being Changed.

"I'm all right. I just need to rest more after fights or other strenuous activities."

"Just don't croak on me," Gojyo joked. "You've lived this long already."

Hakkai laughed. Gojyo had picked him up years ago one night half dead and he managed to pull through. Even now he still risked his life and fought in the ring. He didn't want to tell Gojyo that a long life was something he couldn't promise any more. "I don't plan to," he said instead.

 

***

 

Hakkai and Goku crossed paths again in the locker room the week after their previous meeting. Goku had just finished changing into his fighting gear: loose trunks and protective gloves. Hakkai noticed his sneakers were new. 

Goku hadn't seen him. He was rummaging in his locker for something--a small cylinder. Hakkai watched as Goku pulled it out and discreetly opened the contents. There were only a handful of things that could be, here at the ring.

"Nice meeting you again, Goku."

Startled, Goku drew his hands close to his body. "Oh, hey!" He grinned. "You're fighting tonight, too, huh?"

"Yes."

Hakkai wore a form fitting shirt and training tights with his own gloves. The dress and gear requirements weren't regulated much, so it was left up to the fighter what to bring. 

"Just give me a sec, and I'll go out with you," Goku said, fumbling in the locker a second time before closing the door. Turning away from Hakkai towards the exit leading to the cage, like a flash he moved his hand up to his face, and Hakkai could make a good guess as to what Goku was doing. 

Hakkai said nothing about it. Goku whirled back around, grabbing his water, and he urged Hakkai to the exit with him.

 

***

 

"The way you got that guy to the ground was awesome!" Goku took quick breaths and his pupils were dilated, Hakkai noticed. 

They had both entered the five minute rounds that Friday night and were enjoying each other's performances. He even heard Goku cheering him on in the last round. 

"I don't think I've seen anyone as fast as you," he laughed.

Hakkai appreciated the compliment, though some of his feats were credited to being Changed. As he sat down, he felt the gradual pull of fatigue, his muscles aching, and the headache that would nestle at the back of his head.

Goku sloppily broke open an energy bar as the announcer brought the next two fighters into the ring. His knuckles were battered, but he had yet to bandage them. He'd only stopped the bleeding before settling in his seat. 

"Wanna get something to eat again?" He asked as he chewed on the bar.

It hadn't been long since last time. It seemed they were becoming friends, something Hakkai certainly didn't object to, just thought it maybe a little odd. 

"That's fine," Hakkai answered, amused by how much Goku loved food. "But let's take care of your hands before anything else." A ring assistant handed him a towel and he wiped his hands. "You're done for the night, correct?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't have another fight until next week." 

Hakkai had no further obligations, and motioned for Goku to follow him. They squeezed through the narrow rows of seats and made their way down to the locker room. There Hakkai always kept first aid essentials, and Goku didn't seem like the type to properly take care of his wounds, considering what he'd already seen earlier. 

Hakkai did everything, cleaning the small wounds and patching them up. Goku's hands were rough and warm. Not necessarily attractive, but charming in a simple way, Hakkai thought. Goku seemed surprised he did everything himself, admiring Hakkai's handiwork. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, where would you like to go?"

The two ended up at a fast food joint, Goku paying for the both of them with a few bills from his night's earnings. Hakkai said nothing.

Crumpled wrappers were strewn all over the tray and Goku nibbled the last of his fries. They'd talked about all sorts of frivolous things: food, games, whatever came to mind to talk about. Goku loved food, and his eyes lit up like fireworks when Hakkai mentioned his cooking talents, begging Hakkai to bring him his homemade specialties. The idle chatter lasted for a while, and it was getting later. The meal was done, and they were at a standstill. 

This would be the time where they would part ways, but Hakkai was reluctant to leave. He felt, and maybe hoped a little, that Goku didn't want to, either. Enjoying each other's silent company--a little strange, since Goku had rarely been quiet-- he had asked Hakkai if he wanted to go to his apartment.

"We could play videogames…" Goku suggested, fishing for entertainment options. He rubbed his neck, looking a little nervous.

Hakkai agreed to the invitation.

 

***

 

Apartments were clustered on the east end by the harbor. They had to walk up the concrete stairs outside because the elevator was still 'under maintenance' a year after they put the barricade up. Yellow light stretched down the length of the unfurnished corridor and Hakkai's eyes followed it until it faded into darkness on the other side. Goku's keys jingled in the silent hallway. The only other things Hakkai could hear were the low murmurs of someone's television and laughter a few doors down. Having unlocked the door, Goku ushered him inside.

It was a studio apartment, small and crowded. A narrow unmade bed was pushed into the far corner accompanied by a laundry bin and a mini dresser, and a shaded window. Equal in proportion to the rest of his belongings, a small television sat across from the bed perched on a nightstand, along with a game console. The cramped kitchen sported the necessities, and clean dishes hung in the drying rack. There was enough space left for a tiny round table and two chairs next to the kitchen.

He and Goku spent a few hours playing racing games, fighting games, laughing and getting too into it. They kept a tally, and while Hakkai wasn't very good at the start, he learned quickly and swept up revenge later on.

They took a break for desserts, and Hakkai showed Goku how to cook up cheap but filling meals using the ingredients in Goku's cupboards. They sat down again with paper plates of French toast. Goku sat on the bed, Hakkai on the floor.

"This is delicious!" Goku praised Hakkai's cooking skills and then his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took a peek, pulling it out to see what it was.

_Message: Nataku_

He opened the text.

"Hold on," Goku interrupted, "I'm sorry, I need to reply to this." 

He quickly tapped out a message while Hakkai waited, a little concerned at the urgency in Goku's voice.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not--not really." Goku picked up his plate. "It was my friend."

"Oh."

Goku fished for his phone again with his free hand.

"This is him. We grew up together and everything." Goku showed Hakkai the photo he'd pulled up on his phone. Hakkai saw a young man in what looked like a hospital bed. His hair was light and long, and his smiling face looked very tired. A face that Hakkai had seen only a few times, but recognized almost right away. "Nataku?" He whispered.

"Yeah." Goku took the phone back and cast his gaze downward. "The manager doesn't care about anything but his status, and paying his debt. A year or so ago Nataku got sick and couldn't show for some fights, and the companies already paid him. So now besides a crappy manager, he's Changed and sick, and Touten is still trying to use him.

"I want to get him away from there, but he has a contract. I think, at the time, he felt it was the only option he had."

"I see."

An amazing thing, Hakkai thought, that this friend of Goku's had been Nataku, one of the biggest names since the tournaments began years and years ago. He was known for his big wins and immense power, and Hakkai never doubted he wasn't Changed. He never knew about the careless manager part. No one did. It was wrapped up in secrecy well. Nataku fell from the face of the ring a while back.

"So you use the winnings from fighting to fund Nataku's freedom. That sounds like a lot of money."

Goku nodded. "At work, there's this guy, Sanzo--he's a lawyer--and he comes in all the time. I've been talking to him about it, an' he looked at the info for me." He looked back at Hakkai. "I bugged him enough, and he said he'd talk to some people."

Hakkai considered the information. "Do you know how he fell ill?"

"No. He just started getting sick, and couldn't fight anymore."

"That's unfortunate."

Hakkai had his suspicions that the illness was probably caused by the changes brought on by the Minus drug. They were the same as the ones he had for his own pains, the gradual tiredness, but he said nothing of it. He looked down at his plate where he'd begun to cut into a slice of toast with his fork. Thinking about Nataku and the illness that came after his Change, he remembered then, what he'd noticed in the locker room that evening.

"Goku," he said, calm and poised. Goku's eyes were large and brown, and Hakkai was caught in how the light reflected in them, for just a second. "What about Minus?"

Goku's eyes widened, but he kept his composure, watching the way the syrup crawled on his plate. "What about it?"

"I just want you to be careful."

Silence settled between them. Then--

"I know. It's why Nataku's in the hospital. I only use it when I need it."

Hakkai still said nothing. He wanted to ask what Nataku messaged him for, but Goku didn't seem inclined to share more. That was fine, it wasn't like Hakkai had opened up about his past, either. The tv murmured late night shows from the corner of the small living room.

"I knew you'd figure it out. You look too closely at stuff."

Hakkai chuckled. "I suppose. They do say 'it takes one to know one,' though."

Goku turned back, his eyebrows lifted in surprise, and then he smirked. "Is that why you're so good?"

"I like to think I have at least a little talent in the field, you know."

It was Goku's turn to laugh. "Don't worry, I don't want to even try to fight you. You're too good."

He laughed, but he also sounded quite serious. Memories of other fighters saying the same thing to him years ago rippled up from the back of his mind. It must have been his tone of voice, Hakkai reasoned.

They finished their French toast before Hakkai glanced at the time. The clock read 11:30. 

"Well, I'm afraid I'll have to get going. Thank you for inviting me."

Goku followed suit, explaining how he had to work in the morning too, and hopped up from the bed. They walked to the door together. "You can come over any time, y'know."

"Thank you." Hakkai said before grabbing the door handle.

"Hey."

Hakkai turned half way, only getting a glimpse of Goku's face before the other's lips met his. He had to stand on his toes to reach Hakkai's height, and the kiss was firm and solid and short. Goku stepped back seconds later and Hakkai stared. Goku winked and ran his hand through his hair, partly covering the blush creeping up his neck.

Hakkai let out the breath he'd been holding, the corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile. He resisted the urge to swipe the sticky syrup residue on his lips with his tongue. 

"Have a good night."

"You, too!"

 

***

 

Goku watched in horror as the ingredients simmered together in the pan. "That's gross!" 

"What else am I supposed to cook, huh?!" Gojyo yelled back, his cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth.

"Something actually good!"

"You haven't tasted it yet, have you?"

"I don't need to taste it to know it's gross!"

The two spat at each other like angry siblings, and Hakkai, at the table, sipped tea and tried to leaf through a book without distraction. It was amusing more than annoying, though he did have to quell the squabble, offering to provide if Gojyo's meal didn't satisfy.

His head ached again, and so did his left side, but he was happy. Happy Goku was there, happy Gojyo enjoyed his company, happy that the three of them were together.

They were sitting around the table playing cards and munching on snacks when Goku received a phone call. Upon answering, he left the room, and then left the house, going down to the garden.

Hakkai watched through the blinds, worried it had something to do with Nataku. Gojyo gave him a questioning look and Hakkai explained the situation revealing as little information as possible, not wanting to breach Goku's privacy.

Five minutes ticked by on the wall clock and Goku came back inside. He looked breathless and pulled on the hem of his navy t-shirt in nervousness. Both Hakkai and Gojyo turned their attention to him, waiting for him to say something.

"Remember a couple weeks ago?" he asked Hakkai. "Well, that was Sanzo." He took another breath. 

"He said they were able to negotiate a plan to lower the debt! We might really be able to do it! And a lot sooner, too!"

Hakkai celebrated with Goku, and Gojyo congratulated him. Hakkai was glad that Goku's path became easier and the world seemed a little less heavy. Goku's happiness had him grinning ear to ear, too.

***

It was late. Hakkai and Goku sat alone on the living room couch, Gojyo having gone out for his usual poker nights. Hakkai had splurged just a little, making a special meal for Goku's victory, and Gojyo and Goku ate until their stomachs felt like bursting.

They were half-watching one of those old westerns Gojyo had complained about while snacking on popcorn, passing time in each other's company. It cut to a commercial break, and Hakkai glanced over at Goku. He was peeking at his phone. Hakkai smiled at his curious expression, illuminated by the light from the television. "How is Nataku handling the new information?" he asked. He knew Goku had told Nataku, but never said if Nataku replied.

"He's pretty shocked, I think." Goku laughed a little. It was small and breathy. "He finds it hard to believe."

"You'll have to show him the papers you requested from your lawyer friend," Hakkai mused, sinking further into the old sofa.

"Yeah, I will." Goku smiled faintly.

The commercials ended, but they didn't look back at the screen.

"You know," Goku began, "I find it hard to believe, too. Even though I went ahead and started saving up for Nataku, I was scared I would never be able to do it. It was so much money, and I'm broke."

"Moving forward regardless, it says a lot."

"About desperation, I guess."

That wasn't what Hakkai had meant, but he understood that side of it, too. The fighter's ring, something that had the potential to easily kill them could often save them. Until next week, or next month. It often felt like a desperate struggle. Hakkai had subscribed to grim acceptance.

"Maybe, but still," he said, his hand on Goku's shoulder, "I'm glad you didn't give up. Something good came out of it."

"Yeah," Goku agreed. He looked away and reached for the coffee table, grabbing his soda can. He took a sip and watched the tv screen for a few seconds.

"I'm glad I met you."

Goku turned back to face him, smiling again.

"I'm glad I met you, too." Hakkai said. 

Goku scooted closer, the space around them warm and comfortable. Hakkai wasn't surprised to find Goku leaning in for a kiss, and this time he was ready to return it. Goku's mouth tasted like popcorn and orange soda.

They moved, Goku laying across the soft cushions and pulling Hakkai with him. They kissed again, deeper and longer, and Hakkai's heart began to race. He pressed close to Goku, wrapping his arms around him while his hands played with Goku's hair. 

Goku moved from Hakkai's mouth to his neck. Unbuttoning his shirt, Goku's hands touched Hakkai's collarbone, his breast. They were long strokes, the texture of Goku's worn hands sending pleasure rippling up his neck and into his arms.

Hakkai moved to pull off Goku's t-shirt and Goku helped, and then finished revealing Hakkai's chest. Hakkai wondered what Goku would think of the scars, but when he saw Goku, he had healing bruises similar to Hakkai's own. 

Goku laughed and Hakkai smiled. He was handsome, Hakkai thought. He would spend the whole night seeing Goku like this if he could.

Goku rolled his hips and Hakkai exhaled in response, the feeling exquisite. They eased back down, tossing their clothing to the side and making short work of their jeans, too.

Even after their fun, they spent the night on the couch. Hakkai had woken to the feeling of Goku shaking his arm. He thought he heard him whisper something about being hungry, and he forced his eyes open. The early sunlight filtered through the old blinds in the window, illuminating Goku's hair. It was beautiful, until Goku's stomach growled, loud and angry. Hakkai chuckled, his own empty stomach feeling warm as they shuffled to the kitchen.

 

***

 

Goku finished writing his name in the ledger at the registration counter to ensure his inclusion in the lottery tournament. It was a large event. Lots of money was involved; the prize was in the thousands, bringing everyone from the seasoned fighters looking for their ticket out of poverty to others who'd never set foot in the ring before, either for the same purpose or those who didn't need it but wanted to try. Lottery was in its name for a reason.

He had told Hakkai to meet him there at the stadium. It gave him the chance to sign up before they went about their free day. Crossing from the counter to the seating, he saw a spectacularly tall, broad man. Judging from the muscle he could see thanks to rolled sleeves, he knew the guy had to be built. He was leaning on the railing just a step above the top seating level. Goku couldn't recall having seen him before, and if he was participating in the tournament, he'd definitely need to be careful. 

The man had turned his head and was returning Goku's gaze, and he realized he'd been staring for too long. Walking away would just look even more awkward, so Goku approached him, as nonchalant as he could be. "Hey."

He received a slow nod, an acknowledgement. 

"Are you gonna be in the tournament?"

"No." 

"Just here to watch then?"

"More or less."

Goku sat on the railing to lessen the height difference and looked up at the other, who craned his neck down to meet him.

"Your muscles are really cool," he blurted. He wasn't always very good at this sort of thing, but it was the honest truth. He had cool arm muscles.

Goku's reward was a peculiar expression that he could only identify as confusion. 

"…Thank you?"

His voice was deep, but soft. The guy looked the part of an intimidating body guard, but he seemed amiable enough. In a way, Goku liked him.

"I'm Goku."

The man didn't respond immediately. He never moved from his position; the way his weight fell to one side, his hands resting on the railing, nothing. 

"Gat," he finally replied.

Goku swung his legs back and forth, his heel hitting the metal in a steady rhythm.

"Have you done any tournaments before?" Because if anyone was built for a successful run it was Gat, and he wasn't too sure what to talk about, since Gat seemed to prefer silence.

Gat took in a breath, but if he was going to say something, it was cut short. 

"Are ya makin' a friend, Gat?"

Goku, a little disappointed, peered around Gat's massive form to find a thin man dressed up fancy in all black, a long red scarf pooling around his shoulders.

He wore a charming smile, and it grew when Goku met his gaze. "The name's Hazel, I'm a friend of Gat's." 

He thought he'd heard Hazel's name before, but couldn't quite place where. Goku found his immaculate fashion somewhat intimidating, and it left him wondering if the guy was rich. Rich people only came here to bet and have a good time being entertained. Maybe Gat was a bodyguard after all. Goku looked back up at his new acquaintance, whose position hadn't changed yet, except that his head was turned to watch Hazel now.

Nevertheless, Goku introduced himself. He seemed friendly enough, happy to chat about whatever Goku had to say. After several minutes, the novelty wore off and Goku had trouble paying attention.

Gat made a subtle hand gesture that Goku read easily. 

_He likes to talk a lot._

Goku covered his mouth with his hand, hiding his snickering. Gat smiled. Hazel seemed to catch on and had begun to wrap up his side of the conversation when Goku finally spotted Hakkai. He waved him down, but when Hakkai was close enough to see who exactly Goku's company was, something visibly changed. Goku could tell. 

"I see you're making acquaintances, Goku." Hakkai's voice was tense.

Goku had never seen anyone whirl around that fast, but Hazel did, his scarf spinning after him. "Why, if it isn't Mr. Spectacles!" Hazel glanced back at Goku. "Is this your lil' friend?"

"Yes, he's with me."

"It's nice to see ya makin' good friends."

Hakkai changed the topic. "I'm surprised you're still haunting this place, Mr. Grouse. What exactly is bringing you back?"

"Important business, though I'd like to ask the same of you. It's been so long since I've seen ya, I'd thought you retired already."

They were smiling at each other the entire time, but somehow it didn't feel all that pleasant. Gat had moved--finally moved-- from the railing, ready for whatever was going to happen. Goku didn't know.

"We were goin' to hang out," he interjected, not wanting the situation to take a bad turn. "I had to do somethin' so we were meeting here first."

They both turned, eyes on Goku.

"Well," Hazel began after a spell, "I don't wanna make ya late for any fun plans out on the town."

"We appreciate that, thank you." Hakkai ended the conversation, his eyes darting to Goku before he turned away. Goku grabbed his bag and hurried after him, waving to Gat before the other two were out of view.

Hakkai kept them at a fast pace down through the hallways and back out into the street where the sun made Goku cover his eyes. An autumn breeze winded through the city, buffeting the flags and banners across the taller buildings. "You know that Hazel guy?"

"Yes. He used to be a fighter."

Goku watched their feet walk in time together down the sidewalk. He imagined Hazel in the ring. Maybe that's how he heard Hazel's name, somewhere in the ring gossip. "Did you guys fight each other?"

"Several times, so I suppose it's easy for us to egg each other on. Not that we've ever gotten along that well."

Intrigued, Goku asked, "Who won the most?" Hakkai was such a good fighter, he wondered how both fared.

"Believe it or not, it was a tie." Hakkai laughed, and Goku enjoyed the sound. 

"No way." Goku laughed, too.

"Yes, it was. He retired before we could break it."

"That's funny."

They ended up down at the beach, watching the choppy surf lap at the sand. 

"What was it you had to do?" Hakkai asked. "Something to do with the ring, I presume."

The question made Goku nervous. "I decided to enter the Lottery Tournament." He'd much rather be truthful than lie.

Hakkai's eyebrows lifted in surprise, but he was logical in his response. "The reward is worth the risk."

The smell of sea salt rose on the wind that came in gusts, pushing their hair every way.

"If I win, it'll be enough to help Nataku."

The sea roared in the distance.

"I hope you win." Hakkai encouraged him. "You have the skills."

Goku appreciated the praise and the angle of Hakkai's face. He wondered if Hakkai had entered.  
They walked the beach's length, coming across the docks. They decided to rest at the end of one, over the dark water. "Did you sign up, too?"

Hakkai looked towards the horizon. "I did."

Goku followed his gaze. The sun was setting, the sky bleeding orange, red, and pink.

"You're one of the best," Goku said. "I hope you win, too."

"Hopefully one of us will," Hakkai said.

Goku let his head rest on Hakkai's shoulder for a minute. It was nice; the atmosphere, the sea and sunset, and their comfortable silence. Goku's chest tightened a little. He wanted that moment to last.

 

***

 

The seating area hummed with excitement. The first set of fights had been completed earlier that evening, the second wave beginning shortly. In the intermission, the ring managers would match fighters, but no one knew who they were going to fight. It was to add the extra challenge of winning such a large sum.

The fighters sat in the lowest seats next to the ring. A pit had been built there to house them. Most made a point not to make much contact during that time. Everyone set up an invisible wall, neutral masks when they weren't murmuring about the strategies and mistakes in the fights.

The announcer had picked up the microphone and mumbled test words, and the stadium quieted down.

"All right, welcome back to the second wave of the tournament!" He greeted the audience again. "There are some great fighters participating, and I'm sure there's a whole lot of action packed for the night."

Parts of the crowd cheered him on.

"All right, it looks like we're ready to match our next pair of fighters! Let's see..."

The screens on the board above them lit up, awaiting the announcement.

"The first is...Cho Hakkai!"

Hakkai steeled himself, locking his eyes on the board, waiting for the next name to be written there.

"And the opponent is..." The announcer turned his head to hear the voice in his earpiece above the excitement of the crowd.

"Son Goku!"

Goku's name flashed on the screen. Hakkai hadn't felt such a rush of adrenaline run through him in a long time. It ran in a wave, from just below his head down into the bottom of his stomach. 

He ripped his eyes from the screen and turned to look at Goku, who sat a few seats down. Goku was looking at him, the same shocked look that Hakkai was sure he wore. Hakkai composed himself and forced a smile despite his frantic nerves.

Goku smirked. "I won't go easy on ya." he joked, despite the pinpoint of unease Hakkai could see in his eyes.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Hakkai replied.

They stood from their seats while the crowd rumbled in anticipation.

It was a mistake on their part, Hakkai thought, to become as involved as they were. Goku wasn't going to give up, he knew. And he wouldn't lie down either. The prize was too great. 

The announcer pumped up the already rowdy audience. "On my left, the veteran fighter Cho Hakkai, and to my right, a newcomer blasting his way up the ranks; Son Goku!"

The crowd clapped. Goku's eyes met Hakkai's across the raised slab. Goku's expression was difficult to see, but Hakkai thought he could make out apprehension and determination in the furrows on his brow.

"Who will win in the fight of the year? We're about to find out…" the announcer trailed off, his voice echoing off the far walls. He brought his hand up. "Round One." 

A moment of tension hovered in the air before he let his hand fall and the bell chimed.

Contact wasn't made immediately. They circled each other, so tense Hakkai's back muscles ached with the strain.

"Do your best," Hakkai encouraged.

"I will."

Hakkai made the first move, a quick strike to the head. It didn't land; Goku dodged it and counter attacked. Hakkai blocked his hit. They shuffled across the ring, each trying to break the other's defense. 

Staying light on his feet, Hakkai had to remember to breathe, a rush of adrenaline pushing through him each time Goku attempted a punch or kick.

Hakkai made the first successful hit. He feinted to one side which distracted Goku enough to enable a strike to the side of the head. Hakkai reigned in his punches, fighting to keep his own Changed nature from leaking out: that enhanced strength that could knock someone sideways.  
When he fought, it was always easier to become unhinged. 

The strike knocked Goku off balance. Instead of rising back he let himself fall close to the floor, attempting to knock Hakkai's feet out from under him with a smooth kick.  
Hakkai jumped back and withstood the attack save for the tail end. His foot caught on Goku's, making him stagger. Goku leaped up and attacked with his fists then, one after the other. 

Hakkai, still trying to recover from the stagger, managed a block on the first punch but missed the second. It landed on his chest and the breath in his lungs flew out, pain bleeding from the point of contact. The wind knocked out of him, Goku had him, strategically keeping Hakkai down and preventing a recovery. Hakkai was impressed by Goku's performance and surprised at the strength of his attacks.

He may have taken Minus, Hakkai thought, keeping the barrage away from his head as much as he could, deflecting to the left, the right--there! He'd snagged Goku's arm and twisted. For just a flash, in the midst of the jostling, he saw Goku's eyes widen. He pushed down and brought his leg up for a swift but powerful knee into Goku's stomach.

That knocked him down.

Each breath Hakkai took seared his lungs. He took the extra time to recuperate. In those last few seconds Goku got several hits on him; his shoulder felt bruised. Goku was breathing heavy now, too. Sweat had beaded on his forehead, his hair started to plaster itself there. He struggled to get his breath back and Hakkai only felt a smidge of regret before pinning him down for a count.

The noise from the crowd sounded tinny and distant behind the blood roaring in his ears. He locked eyes with Goku and saw the desperation, realizing he only had seconds to save a losing point. Goku struggled against Hakkai's hold and managed to free a foot, kicking Hakkai back and regaining his footing. 

Like a monkey. Hakkai wanted to laugh, but only managed a small smile. 

Goku launched and grabbed hold of Hakkai's lower body, using his balance to topple the taller man. Hakkai fell flat to the ground, pain flaring in his head and chest. Goku adjusted his gloves while Hakkai rose from the floor, momentarily dazed. It wasn't long until he was up again, his Change helping his stamina. Goku circled him and charged again, but Hakkai was faster this time, dodging, then whirling around and locking Goku's head in his arm. 

I'm sorry, Hakkai wanted to say. I know you need to win. I do, too.

Goku grew still, avoiding any injury. Then he drew in a breath and moved them back towards the cage fence in small, staggering steps. Hakkai realized Goku was going to use the wall as a way to escape, and doubled his resistance. 

Battling Hakkai's strong hold, he pushed back hard, slamming into the wall. Pain bloomed in Hakkai's back and he gasped, his arms loosening enough that Goku wrenched his head out and tumbled away.

He hunched over and Hakkai collected himself, willing away the pain with the power of adrenaline. He felt dizzy. He watched him from across the ring. Goku's facial features scrunched into frustration and desperation. His knuckles were white, the scars from fights weeks before were highlighted in the stark light. "I can't lose!"

Hakkai heard the whispers as clear as he would hear something drop in a silent room. He didn't respond, just watched Goku run for him one more time.

They grappled each other again, and Hakkai went in for a powerful punch.  
Goku made a sloppy dodge before letting out a ragged groan. The sound was someone in pain, and at first Hakkai thought maybe he'd really hurt Goku at some point in their tussle, but Goku gripped his arms and craned his neck. He growled low and angry. The wild, distant look in Goku's eyes told Hakkai what was happening, and his gut dropped.

Goku was changing. 

He writhed, making another anguished noise, and Hakkai remembered the pain of his own Change. He thought of Goku's pain, the overwhelming stress, how he knew that pain was eating Goku's insides. He remembered the burn, the anger.

Goku's eyes focused again, but it wasn't Goku looking at him. Hakkai could only frown, knowing the ordeal. It was a hazy, angry place, going through the Changing process. Everyone was your enemy.

"Goku." He said his name, hoping that he had a chance of getting through.

The eyes continued to stare back unchanging. Blood had started running down from his nose, and before Hakkai blinked Goku was over him, flinging his arms and beating him down. The strength was intense. Hakkai could only deflect the blows for so long before his arms gave out and then Goku slugged him hard in the head. His lip busted open. He tried to scramble away but the blows didn't stop.

Hakkai had no other choice now than to fight unrestrained. He'd been holding back his abilities as a Changed. He was sorry, sorry this had to happen, but Goku needed to be stopped.

Mustering all his strength, he grasped Goku's thin arm with an iron grip and pulled him forward and over his back, flinging him into the concrete with a sickening thud.

In the background, the announcer's voice, now alarmed and attempting to hide it, narrated the spectacle. "The board has called a foul! Son Goku is changing! Apparently under the influence of the drug, Minus, he's out of control! "

Hakkai didn't think the crowd could get any louder, but all the voices thundered in his sensitive ears. 

"This disqualifies him from any further fights. Son Goku by default has lost!"

Goku peeled himself from the floor and took in his surroundings, his head turning left and right before refocusing on Hakkai, who was attempting to nurse his lip. His muscles screamed.

This time, it was Hakkai who lunged, not holding back.

They jammed up close, violent and merciless. Neither side yielded, each enduring swift kicks and grabs and throws until Hakkai managed to land an elbow to Goku's head. Goku staggered back and Hakkai used the chance to knock him off balance, and pin him to the floor again. The smell of blood curled into his nose and even he was losing himself in the fight. He struck Goku again, again. Goku dragged his nails over Hakkai's pinning arm, but his grip didn't loosen and his punches didn't yield. 

He kept punching and punching, and in the fog he realized Goku wasn't moving anymore. He barely registered the announcer, who yelled wildly. "Son Goku is knocked out, he's out!"  
Hakkai let his arm fall then, taking long deep breaths. He slumped to the side.

"Cho Hakkai has won the fight by default," the announcer finished, sounding relieved. "Son Goku is disqualified."

The stadium had gone silent. Gathering what was left of his strength, he looked around at the faces surrounding them. Shock, resentment, fear.

"Goku," he gasped, hoping he was all right, that maybe he would answer, but Goku was out cold, blood smearing his face and clothes ripped. 

Hakkai sat there. He couldn't move. 

No one else moved either.

He heard the whispers, saw people slipping away. The Changed were feared and ignored. They were wild, nonhuman. 

Knowing help wasn't coming, and having recollected himself, he got his feet under him, shuffling to Goku. 

He lifted him, careful not to hurt himself or his friend any more, and trudged to the cage exit. Everyone at the door dispersed, and Hakkai endured a long silent hobble to the locker rooms.

 

***

 

He made it to a corner of the locker room, where he set Goku on the floor against the wall. He rested for just a moment, and to make sure Goku was still breathing. After that, he stood to fetch the first aid and was breathless again by the time he made it back. He set to work patching both of them up, grateful no one had come in.

Hakkai was relieved Goku endured the change. Not everyone did. Dabbing a cloth with warm water from the sink, he washed Goku's face, scrubbing the blood and dirt away. He did this again to his arms and legs, carefully cleaning cuts and abrasions. He listened for any one entering the rooms, but the only sounds were him, Goku's ragged breathing, and the drip of a leaking faucet from the nearby bathrooms. Outside, the fights seemed to have continued again, the noise audible through the walls.

It was when he moved to sterilize and patch the wounds that Goku startled himself half-awake. His eyes fluttered, opening just enough that Goku could see. He looked around, and his body grew tense.

Hakkai pressed a gentle yet firm hand to his chest and leaned forward. "Goku?"

Goku didn't respond. 

A hand shot up and slammed into Hakkai's jaw. Goku struggled to fight him, one shot at a time through his weakness. Hakkai, shocked by the sudden punch, realized Goku still hadn't come down from the change. Goku grabbed for him, his face distorted in anger and pain, and Hakkai held him down by the arms.

They wrestled in the small space, fighting for control. Hakkai needed this to stop. They were already so weak, and it was only time until Hakkai's own strength ran out. He didn't know how much longer Goku had in this rampaging state.

Hakkai squeezed Goku's arms. "Goku, that's enough!" 

Goku pulled and twisted his wrists in an attempt to wrest them from Hakkai's grasp. He kicked a foot out which sent the first aid case sliding under a bench. In a last effort, Hakkai let go of his limbs and held Goku in full, an embrace so tight Hakkai thought it might dislocate something.

His head fell over Goku's shoulder and he grasped at Goku's hair. In any other situation this would have been lovely, Hakkai thought, to feel Goku like this. But it wasn't now. 

Goku eventually stilled and Hakkai hoped that somehow Goku had returned to himself, that maybe the pressure dispelled the trance.

Goku's breath tickled his ear. "I--I think you can stop--squeezing me now."

Relieved a second time, Hakkai loosened his arms and Goku sucked in a huge breath of air. He adjusted Goku's tattered shirt and helped prop him back up against the wall. He had slid down to the floor in the struggle.

Hakkai picked up the dropped cloth and wiped at the cuts and splits that had started bleeding again, though this time the rough rag was cold to the touch. It was quiet for a moment.  
Goku groaned and looked so, so tired. "What happened?" he croaked, looking beyond Hakkai to the shabby ceiling and gray metal locker blocks around them.

"You changed," Hakkai said, succinct and flat.

"R-really?" Goku looked down at his leg, where Hakkai had started patching up a wound. "I don't remember what happened. I remember fightin' you, but then--nothing."

"That's a common symptom."

"Are you okay?"

"For the most part," Hakkai replied, also very, very tired. "I'm glad you're still alive after that ordeal."

Goku was staring at Hakkai's wounds that he'd haphazardly covered. He'd yet to properly take care of his head wound. A single adhesive patch was slapped on, the blood still trickling down his face. Goku's expression changed from shock to worry.

"Did I do that?!" Goku managed to spit out, trying to sit up. "I'm sorry!"

"It's all right--"

"It's not!"

"Calm down, Goku." Hakkai placed a firm hand on Goku's shoulder. "You didn't mean it, it's all right."

He motioned for Goku to lie against the wall again. "You did what you felt you had to do. Snapping like that was out of your control."

"I shouldn't have taken anything." Goku balled his hands into fists. "But, honestly, I was scared I would lose. I messed up. I was so close, so close!"

The disappointment and shame in Goku's voice was palpable. Nataku's freedom was so important to him and to find out he failed…Hakkai knew that feeling, knew the heart wrenching pain and frustration. He reached out to Goku again, a calming hand on his jittery leg.

"We all do things we're not proud of. Something pushes us over that edge. We feel like our intentions cancel out the negative repercussions." Hakkai leaned closer, his voice grew quiet. 

"I've done those things, too. I wanted to save someone who meant the world to me -- I fought and fought. The Minus made me stronger, until I Changed, too, and even then, I still couldn't save her."

Hakkai paused to breathe, and to give Goku time to think. His eyes were wide; Hakkai had his full attention. 

"I've killed people in that ring. Unintentionally and intentionally." Hakkai was straightforward. "Even now, I would still do it."

Goku looked down. Hakkai wondered if he was afraid of him.

"Things didn't work out like you thought, but that doesn't mean you don't have any other chances to do good. It's all right."

Goku let out a shaky breath. "Right."

"Unfortunately, you were disqualified, so tournaments are out of the question now."

"Did they find you out?"

"I don't believe so. They may grow suspicious of how I was able to handle it as well as I managed, but nothing right now."

Goku pressed his torn fist to Hakkai's shoulder. "I'm glad you did. I didn't know you were Changed, so I was worried."

"Me, too."

They beamed at each other for a few minutes before Hakkai recovered the kit.

"Do you think you can walk?" Hakkai asked after he'd finished doctoring both of them.

"I think so."

Goku pulled himself off the tiles with the help of Hakkai and the wall, and he groaned again when his feet were on the ground and under him. Hakkai's feet prickled with pain, too.

"Be careful," Hakkai warned, "Your enhanced abilities are now permanent. Don't crush anything."

They made it to the office to pick up Hakkai's winning money. Goku stayed outside.

The man at the desk glanced up. "Cho Hakkai?"

"Yes," he replied, scrutinizing the organized chaos across the back counter.

An envelope was tossed across the desk with no comment at all. Hakkai picked it up and thanked the man, who just nodded, preoccupied with something else.

Hakkai exited the office, placed the check in a secure pocket, and they continued down the hall and into the lobby. It was a plain room, empty and open. A few seats were placed along the walls near the registration and ticket counters, but that was it.

At the entrance Hakkai recognized Hazel and Gat immediately. Hazel was dealing with a couple of research-looking types, though it looked like they were nearing the end of the conversation. Hazel had successfully shooed them off as he and Goku approached. Hakkai had no plans to talk to Hazel, but he had turned to see them making for the exit.

Hazel called out to them. "That was quite the fight, gentlemen."

Hakkai stopped and the other two moved closer. Hazel's lips were pressed into a thin smile, and Hakkai thought he didn't sound or look that impressed. The expression on his face was one more of knowing.

Gat, concern written on his features, turned to Goku. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Goku replied, a little shaky, "I'll be okay. It just… _sucks_. It's like I failed, y'know? I needed to win to help Nataku. He's my best friend."

"Nataku?" Hazel's question held a note of recognition.

Hakkai watched Goku's changing face. 

"You know him, too?" Goku's energy was returning at the mention of his friend.

"Most of us here have at least heard of him." The smile on Hazel's face grew warmer, perhaps in response to Goku's natural brightness. "I had heard he'd been admitted to the hospital a long while ago."

"He's still there." Goku frowned, like the desperation had sunk in again. "He went in and never got any better."

Hazel and Gat exchanged a quick glance. Hakkai made note of it.

"I imagine," Hazel said, carefully, slowly, "it's somethin' to do with Changed degeneration."

"What?" Goku was shocked.

"The Changed are a result of overdosin' Minus. The after effects eventually cause muscle and nerve degeneration. Organ failure. Of course, the rate it comes on is different for everyone."

Goku had glanced back at Hakkai. His eyes were wide and his mouth open. Changed degeneration wasn't a new concept to Hakkai. The Changed had a tendency to die early, becoming clearer each time someone described their symptoms.

"But," Hazel continued, "Hopefully soon, that fate won't be the common case."

"What do ya mean?" Goku asked.

"They're in the process of completin' a suppressant."

"Really?!" 

Now this was new.

"It's close to bein' ready." Hazel spurred Goku's hope. 

Goku turned to Hakkai and he saw his excitement. It was almost unbelievable, what Hazel had said, but he wouldn't benefit from lying. Hazel was Changed, too. He took a moment to observe Gat, who as always, managed to look neutral in the situation, watching Hazel and Goku's discussion. Hakkai turned back to Hazel. "And how do you know this?"

"The results of a doctor's research." And here he hesitated, glanced away for just a moment. "If it helps any, they're usin' me for it. Havin' a slower degeneration rate, I've yielded the most promising results in creating the formula."

"Were those white coats you were speaking to part of this?"

"Yes, actually." Hazel pulled out his wallet and handed Hakkai a card. "They do field research."

It was a business card, Hakkai noticed upon taking it. A company and doctor's name was written on it. 

"I haven't heard anything about this, not in the news or in any articles."

"Of course not." Hazel shifted his weight. "It wouldn't set right to publicize experiments on Changed just yet, considering current social discourse."

"A good point." Hakkai considered all the new information, taking a moment to digest it, his hand to his chin.

Goku took to the idea of the suppressant with ease. "It'll be able to help Nataku, even if I can't."

Hakkai agreed. It would be good, for both Nataku and himself. "It would be good for all of us."

Hazel adjusted his coat collar. "Anyway, y'all look beat, so I won't keep ya. I trust you'll keep our little conversation highly confidential."

"Of course," Hakkai said, slipping the card into the pocket with the check. "Thank you, Hazel."

Hazel nodded. "Have a good night." He turned to leave, but looked back over his shoulder. "I'm glad to see y'all are going to be all right."

Hakkai and Goku said their goodbyes to Gat, and then they were alone. They called a taxi to take them to Hakkai's house. They'd agreed it was the closest safe haven.

 

***

 

Hakkai helped Goku from the taxi to the house, leaving him at the couch. Their short ride had been quiet. Hakkai had been lost in thought. If what Hazel said was really true, the benefits would be immense. He may not need to fight as often anymore for extra winnings and Nataku wouldn't be bedridden in a hospital. Despite the positive note, he could see Goku was still upset about not being able to fulfill his promise. He had frowned at the floorboards the whole way home and didn't make a sound.

That was something else Hakkai had been thinking about. He wanted to help Goku. If that suppressant became available, he wouldn't need to worry about his medical care. Maybe he could give his prize money to Goku. It wasn't something he needed immediately, and Nataku's fate partially hinged on the check folded in his pocket. Maybe that was something he could do.

Gojyo had luckily been out for the night. Hakkai could only imagine his friend's alarm if he saw them stumble into the house half dead.

"Make yourself at home, Goku," Hakkai offered as he turned on the lights. "I'll fix us a bite to eat."

Goku moved the kitchen table as Hakkai began preparations for a meal.

"Y'know, I think I can feel it. Being Changed," Goku said.

Hakkai didn't doubt that. It was subtle at first, but the more time that passed after the initial change, the more obvious it became.

"My eyesight is better and my energy is coming back faster. I can hear and smell _everything_."

"Yes, I remember that, noticing that difference. Especially when I realized I didn't need my glasses anymore. It's something you get used to." Hakkai handed him a glass of water. Goku took it, but he gripped it too hard and it shattered in his hand. He looked stunned.

Hakkai tried not to laugh. "I did warn you about crushing things."

"I'm sorry," Goku mumbled, cleaning up the mess. Hakkai joined him. "I still can't believe it happened though. That I changed. It's so--" Goku shook his head, "so bad."

"Maybe so," Hakkai allowed, "But you're still the same person. Even if you're Changed--some things are different now, but you're still you. You're not worse."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I know so." Hakkai dumped the mess in the garbage. "Have you decided what to do about Nataku?"

Goku's pain returned; his muscles tensed. "No. I don't have a clue." He shook his head again, frustrated with himself.

"May I make a suggestion?"

Goku stared up at Hakkai, confused.

He pressed forward, pulling the check out and sliding it across the table. "I'd like to give you my winnings." In that moment he saw Goku's jaw drop. "You and Nataku need it more than I do right now."

"No way!" Goku's jaw was still on the floor. "Hakkai--"

"I insist," he said. "I don't need this right away. I can wait. Besides, you're an amazing fighter. Our fight could easily have gone either way if you hadn't been affected by the change."

Goku stared at him like he was doing something ridiculous. Maybe in a way he was, but he wanted it that way, all the same.

And then Goku had rushed out of his chair and hugged Hakkai tight enough that he had trouble breathing. He didn't see it coming, Goku was too fast. It felt wonderful, even though his arms were stuck to his sides. He'd moved his head back to get a better position when Goku kissed him, full on the lips. Startled, his heart leapt up his throat and they floundered for only a little until Hakkai relaxed and kissed back. 

It was only for a moment but they were both breathless after. "Thank you, thank you," Goku panted. "I thought it was over. You're--you're crazy. The best!" He laughed then, overwhelmed.

Hakkai plucked the check off the table and pushed it into Goku's hands, urging him to put it with his things so he wouldn't forget.

"I'm never goin' to forget."

Hakkai smiled. "Then don't forget to take a bath. You smell awful."

"Hey! You smell just as bad." Goku pointed a finger at his nose. "These stupid super senses aren't helping at all."

"Then I suppose a bath is in order after we eat."

"I'm not really all that hungry right now."

Hakkai lifted an eyebrow. "You? Not hungry?"

"I mean, I'd rather feel fresh and clean before I eat, y'know?" He grinned.

"Oh, I see." 

"But," Goku said, "I'm still beat." He let go of the table to illustrate his weak legs. "I think I might need some help."

Hakkai shook his head, took Goku's arm, and accompanied him the whole way.


End file.
